Discovering Your Worthiness
It’s been a while since I blogged. I’ve been through a lot of tough, stressful experiences in the last month or two. Sounds clique, but it has taught me a lot and made me stronger.
In particular, I have been reteaching myself that I am worthy and of value. I have needed to become the person that is ready for the leap that we are on the verge of, with Compumatrix. Without a belief in my own worthiness and sense of value, even if all the money in the world lands in my lap, I would likely still find myself having difficulties, if not with money, then with something else.
Life prepares us, usually unbeknownst to us, for whatever is ahead. It helps, though, if we can give life a hand, now and then. Participating with life in whatever ways we know to do, is really our only job.
A week or two ago, I bought an electric scooter. It’s awesome! I knew it was what I wanted. But I doubted my choice to buy it at the time I did. It might even have been better if I had waited to buy it. Not because I wasn’t worthy of it, but because I wasn’t the person yet, that I needed to be to really enjoy it.
It was a really good experience for me. I have known for a while that if I have any doubts about something that my intuition is saying “no” to the choice. But I really wanted the scooter! I even had the sense that I might have trouble with it, but still I wanted to go for it.
First off, I discovered that it wasn’t going as far as the reviews claimed it would, on a charge, not by a long shot. So I called customer service, and they said they thought the battery was bum and would send out a new one.
Then, I had a huge disagreement with my housemate about where to keep it. I watched how when I stood in my own power, doing what my heart most wanted to do, it all worked out, even from my housemate’s point of view. No compromise, just following my heart at every turn. Really good, but hard, experience.
But then, it got a flat tire. On the back wheel, which looks like a bear to get off! And then the battery came. So now I have a battery that I assume will work, but not a working scooter, because of the flat. Not enough money to have someone else fix it, and too afraid to take it apart myself and wreck it further! Tried slime. No dice. Tried Fix a Flat. Still didn’t work for more than a quarter mile.
So, the scooter is locked and covered by the side of the house. Waiting on the ‘me’ that will be ready to own it. Maybe tomorrow I will take it apart. Maybe it will sit for a week until my next paycheck. Maybe it will sit longer. But I am not going to touch it again until I get a clear ‘yes’ from my heart.
So, worthiness comes in all kinds of forms. It is obvious to me that just by virtue of being alive, we are all worthy and of value. That we deserve to thrive and prosper is clear. But whether our subconscious believes in our worthiness is the real question. And truly, it is the one in charge of our experiences.
Whatever may be true for you, me and everyone else, know that we are all on this journey together, and that we are moving along a path specially designed to take us where we are going. Trust yourself, trust your inner knowing about what is perfect in each moment. You can truly never make a mistake. You simply may take a path that is a little bumpier than you’d like! The bumps themselves aren’t there to be a problem. They are the stepping stones to creating the ‘you’ that is ready for whatever it may be that you have been dreaming about.
All is well!