The New Stuff

Time for a laugh


Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That’s great, I’ll take two of them.

Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things – burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.
He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely:
“I hope you’ll be very happy there –

Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, “I’m returning on the next flight. Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot.”At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, saying “The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!”

Sales manager addressing an under performing sales force at the start of a new month:
“We are going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month’s contest.”
Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery.
Customer: But it says “Made in Cleveland”.
Salesman: Haven’t you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?

How can you tell when a salesperson is lying? His lips are moving.

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?
“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m better than you.”

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.
Doctor: Why is that?
Patient: I’m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don’t want.

Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says “all cotton.”
Salesman: Oh, that’s just to keep the moths away.

No, no, no!” said the enraged businessman to
the persistent salesman. “I cannot see you today!” “That’s fine,”
said the salesman,
“I’m selling spectacles.”

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