Have you seen the movie “Never Been Kissed”? In the movie, the main character says, “to write well, you must write what you know.” I have been with Compumatrix for several years, far less than many of you, but you have taught me that focus and discipline are essential to running a lucrative business. Without these two tools, none of us will ever run a successful business of any kind.
Unfortunately, there are many roadblocks along the journey of life that make it very difficult to focus and to keep the discipline needed to get the job done. Today I would like to discuss one BIG OBSTACLE, and that is the use of alcohol and how using it to excess can cause you to lose your focus, your drive, and determination. Your ability to be disciplined will leave, and you will destroy your business and probably your family along with it.
In my lifetime, I have been hurt very badly by people that I care about who just happen to drink a lot. They are the ones who drink carefully, away from interested glances. They are the ones who always insist that they don’t have a drinking problem, they just like to drink. They turn to alcohol whenever their world isn’t quite right or perhaps whenever the wind changes. Sadly, alcohol has become a solution for everything.
My dad always vehemently denied that he had a problem, well I’m sorry, but actions speak louder than words. Perhaps I should be clear here. I’m not saying a drink or two will destroy your business, but I am saying that if alcohol is your go-to solution for everything challenging, you have a problem. I am personally very tired of excuses and promises. Wake up, smell the coffee, start being honest with yourself and your family for once solve the problem; don’t do it for yourself; do it for them. In the end, it’s your family and loved ones that get hurt every single time, not to mention your business fails.
I know a young lady who wishes to go to medical school and become a doctor. She tries very hard and has a real chance to make her dreams come true, but she loses focus and discipline when she drinks, and it doesn’t return for days or even weeks. Her boyfriend drinks all the time but does it quietly in the bedroom; he thinks we don’t know. Personalities change when people drink; they become strangers; they become angry, often horrible, hateful, angry human beings. To be fair, sometimes they become happy drunks. Her boyfriend is only affectionate when he is drunk; that’s when he wants to marry her. So who is the real one, the drunk one or the sober one and whom should she trust?
The young lady is proud that she stopped drinking wine and whiskey; now what she drinks looks like a soda can. She believes that since the can states it has only 3.7% alcohol she is not drinking, yet her personality changes; she loses focus, and what needs to be done doesn’t get done. Even at 3.7%, signs of drunkenness appear! Her 7-year-old talks about how mommy gets weird. Do drinkers think that what they do is a secret? Do drinkers believe that no one notices? Why do they think their personalities don’t change?
Alcoholism is insidious, it creeps up on people quietly. A drink here or there suddenly becomes an obsession but a quiet one. When your number was two it was ok, but then four became ok, then six then eight, and you can see what happened. Heavy drinkers never think there is a problem. When you bring it up, they usually get very defensive, or perhaps they cry and apologize and promise to stop but rarely do.
Heavy drinkers may not see themselves as alcoholics, but others do I promise. I don’t care how you define alcoholism. When you absolutely just have to go to the liquor store, when you have to have a drink to “calm your nerves” when you hide what you are doing away from others and there are lots of cans and bottles in the recycle, then you might have an issue. Think about it!
I wish I knew the magic words to stop the hurt that drinking causes the wife, the husband, the mother, the father, the grandparents, the children, and the friends, but I don’t. Over the years, many alcoholics, heavy drinkers, and don’t forget the “I haven’t got a problem gan,” have inflicted pain and suffering in my life. Truthfully, I don’t know how to stop them. In the end, the only one who can stop the pain is the drinker. They have to love others more than they love their alcohol. They are the only ones who can stop the hurt and put an end to the insanity they inflict upon their families.
They may never stop; my cousin didn’t; he spent 25 years in the Marine Corps and died a hopeless alcoholic. A friend of mine stopped after 30 years and said one day at a restaurant sadly that he wishes he could remember his kids’ childhood, but “it’s all a blur.” My father finally quit at 75 because he was embarrassed by incontinence; unfortunately, the damage was done. If you continue to drink, your loss of focus and discipline will cause you to fail in your business. Your Compumatrix business demands focus and discipline: otherwise, it will fail; alcohol will take that away. Alcohol is not your friend and never will be.
The good news is that the past doesn’t matter; it only matters what you do today and the rest of your life. Yes, I believe that drinkers can change; if you have a drinking problem of any kind, you can change it. If you don’t like your life, change it. It’s all up to you. Good luck, it isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Afterward, your focus and your self-discipline will return. You will be able to face your family honestly and become a person of integrity again. If you run your Compumatrix business with focus and discipline and without needing alcohol, you will be successful!