Do You Want to be Noticed or Liked in this World?

If you want to be noticed or liked in this world, there is a reason and a cure.

If you want to see in you in social media, life, or even in business, you must act according to what people want to see. A true leader has never asked of anyone that thing which he has not already done.

When I trained troops for future battles, I asked them their best, but I also first demonstrated my ability to do as I am asking before I asked it. In my book, anyone who could do a better job than I did was rewarded. At the same time, the rest got to acknowledge their accomplishment. But, any great leader never downgraded anyone for not making the mark, for you had not yet found what they were good at, and so comes the rules of social engagement. For you must see and seek the good in others, and to do so, you must never apply negative attributes such as these below.

The Bible says this: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24; “King James Bible”

A person must show themselves friendly. Trying to be open is hard work.

Well-liked people never play the Blame Game.
People make mistakes, they goof up, and those who do not blame accept that as a fact of life then move on. Do you move on or hold on to animosity?

To think it through further, one could ask, was it my fault, did I not do my job correctly, or was it something else? The questions should be asked.

The ultimate part of the blame game is owning up to your own mistakes and take or deal with responsibility. By taking responsibility, one garners respect and admiration from those around them.

Also, by owning up to mistakes, one learns, grows, is smarter, and a much happier person in the long run.

Popular people don’t try to control.
So you are the person who is in control, and you find the thought sometimes all-consuming and problematic at times. But, never let all that power go to your head.

The only real control you have is over yourself. So, if you are out there trying to control others, you are just saying your dreams, goals, and opinions are more important than theirs.

Remember, control is short term because it requires authority, fear, respect, or some form of pressure to make it long term, and none of these concepts make you feel good about yourself.

The best approach is to find people with similar likes, goals, and just going in the same direction you are and create a relationship to produce a better business or outcome.

Popular people never criticize others.
So what if you have more experience and more education. And so what if you have been around the block a few times and surpassed everyone else. This fact does not make your smarter, better, or the only one with unique insights. It just makes you; you and nothing more.

Just like everyone else, who may have many of the same things you do, but never asked or were told. So don’t criticize anyone else, know they are different. Instead of seeing their shortcomings, try to seek their strong points, and utilize their strengths.

Well, liked people are not preachy.
Are you one who thinks you know everything about your job, or some subject, or social situation? The common thing is if you feel you are more accomplished than most folks, you tend to express to people everything you think you know, and it usually isn’t much.

The tendency here is people will be there and appear to hear from you, but they are not listening.

Popular people don’t whine.
People want to be uplifted and positive. It is how we are wired; we want to be happy. If you whine about your problems, then you not only bring others down to your level, you become more distant and unhappy by hearing your problems over and over again. People also do not want to hear repetitious sermons about how you have it so rough. Everyone has their issues to deal with not just you.

If you have a problem, don’t spend time complaining. Think of a way to improve your situation, and a good leader also searches for advice, which is not complaining. Why waste time complaining when it never accomplishes the goal of improving the situation.

Popular people never interrupt others.
The old saying; Interrupting is just plain rude! When you interrupt, you are saying you and your opinions are so much more important. It is taking center stage, and saying you are more important than anyone else here.
The biggest thing you are saying is I am not listening to you, which hurts feelings.

Want people to like to be around you? Then listen to what they say, and appear interested. Focus and make sure to ask questions about what they said.

Popular People Don’t live in the past.
There is always a lot of information in a person’s past. You learn from past mistakes, and a good leader learns from the mistakes of others and makes a note.

To hold on to the bad mistakes, the goofs, the hurt feelings, and the ideas or concepts we draw from past mistakes is a severe problem for any person trying to do a better job and influence others.

You must turn the past loose. It is of little to no importance if it will make you hold on to grudges and animosity.

All of your past is training for what is coming ahead in your life; God sort of sets things up that way. Never let your past define who you are, for it was a lesson to learn by and nothing more. In so doing, you are always growing. If someone else makes a mistake, stay focused, and see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

Popular people never allow fear to stop them.
We all have concerns, so we often tend to worry about what might happen and handle it properly. We also tend to worry about how others will see us in light of what might or might not happen. We have no clue, but our mind is running wild with “What if’s.”

The sad part of being afraid is we spend so much time worrying that time passes, and so do most of our dreams. I can’t imagine, “What if? Henry had worried and not started Compumatrix. Where would our dreams be right now? But Henry didn’t, and neither should we hold back. We need to get out there as our BOD tells us and get busy for a long future with Compumatrix and leave a legacy for our children and grandchildren.

Suppose you desire something such as a profitable business and strong online influence in social media. In that case, you must try to incorporate many of these ideas and concepts into your life. It will make you a very liked and well-respected person in your community and around town.

Why wait if it is what you want to do next in life? Take that chance and try it no matter what the outcome. Sam Walton failed a few times before Wal-Mart became a success. Still, Sam’s theory was never to quit trying. Now, Wal-Mart is the largest single retailer in the entire world.

So try, what do you have to fear? Failure is just a learning experience and nothing more.

Think about this; today is almost gone, and tomorrow is not promised, so do something, do anything except sit there worrying.

Compumatrix asks for us to participate, and so many don’t. Do you not know I worry each time I start to write? My first worry is what am I going to write about. So I use vital words we find so often associated with our company. I read articles, or I check out some keywords, and when something hits my ‘Like Button,’ I make some notes and sometimes have to do some serious thought and prayer on the subject. Follow the rules, and take your time; sometimes a good paper is a shorter paper, and it may take a month or more who knows, it has taken that long for me at times.

Most of all, if I believe it will help someone else as it did me, then I must find my own words to share it. I make that step…

A valid piece of information about me: I am basically an introvert (not outgoing) so making friends is very hard work, and for most people, it is the same. So be brave and take a chance! What do you have to lose?

About the author

Sam and Jody live in Mena Arkansas and love Compumatrix. Life is simpler when sharing life with others, and being a Christian I see how being there with and for others enhances their lives. How can Compumatrix make your life better?


  1. Well…while I do agree with the underlying concept of your post of how to be well-liked, I personally never had a desire to be “popular”. I never saw life in that way, ie. “what can I do to make people like me?” For me, that was definitely never the point. To me, what was most important was how I felt INSIDE about myself. And I went to great lengths to ensure that I never sold myself out (although it did happen a few times in weak moments) so that someone else could “think well” of me. That, to me, is a highly unreliable monitor of the person I am…and I guess it’s also why I never really seek friends by trying to convince them I’m likable, but allow them to occur naturally. I am not hungry for public adulation like so many celebrities these days – as we all know, there are never any guarantees that those same adoring followers won’t turn on you as fast as a blink of the eye…because of some bad publicity. To me, that’s WAY too much work for very little in return…as we all know, there are a lot of “fake friends” on social media these days. Agh, this is a very timely topic in this day and age. Suffice it to say that to me personally, although I do have many friends scattered around the world, a “close friend” is extremely rare…and in fact, I think that’s important for self-growth: in order to know thyself, it’s good to learn to rely on your OWN relationship with yourself and connection with your Creator. To me…THAT is True Friendship!

  2. For the last few years I have been stable in on place for about 8 years, but before then, I moved around after I finished high school and I lost most of my old friends and I find difficult to create new real friendships. I never was a popular guy, but I enjoy my job and keeps me connected on a business level with people and I get great satisfaction from it while keeping me busy.

  3. this is a great Blog read with a ton of information in it to really look deep into the meanings and look into the mirror on me — I see alot of yeppers that me and in the same breath i see alot not me?? wow deep introspective thinking and few more times of reading — thanks Sam like to put thought into who I am nowadays and growing and changing inside and outside — keep writing Brother — in Yeshua always

  4. Thank you, Sam, for a great blog. I realise that as I have changed, also my friends have changed. I find that there have been times when I have to ask myself in relation to a particular ‘friendship’. Is this a friend who is always demanding my time but never really listens? Do they ever show any interest in me? Do I feel tired or drained of energy after conversing with them or being around them? If so, I step back and I choose to spend more time being around the people who are positive and supportive and I reflect that back to them.

  5. Great article Sam! Your parents are your best friends,you can tell them everything,I have some childhood friends with whom I am very happy,we learn a lot from each other’s experience.
    I think we should look at our own necks before criticizing others,the more times we fail, the more we will learn and the more experience, we will have,this gives us a great opportunity to learn from our mistakes,it is wise to benefit from experience.
    I think change is always for the better,and we must accept it with great joy,it can be a precursor to success in our lives,as we have been witnessing various changes in compumatrix for many years, a lot of work is going on behind the scenes,we are seeing this over time for our bright future.

  6. Wow Sam. These are all such excellent points to live by. Every one of them is so piratical and relevant to your lives in this world today. I am going to copy each principle down and read it daily just to refresh my memory on how I should be living. I love the Bible verse too about a man needing to show himself to be a friend before he can actually have friends.

  7. When I was younger I admit that I had the desire to be “noticed” in this world but as time went on I prefer to have a much “quieter” life and I’m not concerned about being noticed anymore. Sure, I want to be liked but honestly I just want other to take and accept me as I am. My career required me to be around hundreds of people day in and day out. NOW, I would prefer to be at home or on the road with my laptop and work my Compumatrix business privately. Peace and quiet is my style now! 🙂

  8. Great post, Sam for laying it all out on the table for us to read. Yes, it certainly isn’t an easy thing to achieve the ultimate positive person, especially in our younger years as we are learning along the way. As we mature and gain life experiences, we become more the person who personifies outwardly the well-liked, popular person even if we are an introvert. As you say at the end of your post – I too, do not want to be a negative person afraid of new experiences and changes, but rather the positive person who is open, and ready for all that the world offers!

  9. If you are doing something like affiliate marketing, it is important to be noticed to achieve success. You need to gain some credibility. Only then people will follow you. But if you want real success you should be ethical. So, I’ll try to do it and be noticed though I never really liked it.

  10. When it comes to business I tend to stay neutral…People are very quick to take advantage on a to positive attitude.
    I’ve noticed that you gain a lot more respect if you stay to the fact and let that speak for you.
    Maybe it’s a bit cynical but it works.
    I also like to stay in the background, not making too much noise..But that’s just the kind of person I am..
    I enjoy reading your post 🙂

  11. Being an ‘only child’ I never felt the need to be liked by people. I did, however, feel the need to like myself and I have been the eternal optimist all my life. Never shown any negativity at all no matter what I was involved in. Due to this, I was liked by people in my workplace and in social circles almost by default, without trying too hard. I am guessing in my situation, I was born optimistic. Very fortunate that I did not have to try too hard.

  12. Sometimes it’s making or supporting unpopular opinions that result in one being “outside the circle” or “unpopular”. However, I see going against the tide as a courageous action.

    It could be seen as an ‘unpopular’ choice to stand strong with a company that has been around for 14 years while still struggling to fulfill its original goals – but those of us willing to remain unpopular amidst the naysayers will be vastly rewarded quite soon.

  13. Sam, you remind me of King David, an outstanding leader, though with weakness like any other, he demonstrated most of your points, I’m learning a lot of reading, this tells me experiences of the past should teach us, have enjoyed reading this blog. Thank you

  14. Getting along with human beings, is an art in itself. We live in a world and have to interact with people from all walks of life. A positive attitude is a must and will get us very far. Understanding our fellow men will help us to deal better with them. When someone talks, we need to listen. So that they feel respected and comfortable. Easier said than done but it takes practice and positive mindset.

  15. Always good to remain positive no matter what especially in business. I believe in lessons learned in life as you grow older and wiser. To try and be noticed or liked seems to come naturally with me I guess I never really thought about it much but Iknow some that hated me for no reason at all never could figure those people out I have also had many that liked me. I agree with the part about fear and worry it is a waste of time if that is what you do self-pity is actually a sin in the Bible and to me, that is what worrying is.

  16. Just as some people are born to be natural leaders, some are naturally likeable without putting in much effort.
    Trying too hard can have an opposite effect, to be yourself can go a long way although it’s not the easiest thing many times. Being a good listener and making people feel comfortable around you would make people like you for the right reason.

  17. Sam, I credit you for writing this great blog on being the best we can be. What or who we are, comes forth without much thought to what we do or say, be it good or bad. We can be positive, cheerful and inviting, or we can come across as a grumpy and unhappy miserable person. We have to be around those of lesser outlook at times, but I much prefer to be around those positive happy freely laughing persons that make me feel good and give hope.

  18. I never try to be I try to be anything other than who I am.I try to do the right thing by others. I try to be a good role model. I try to be agood parent and to lead by example. Trying to be someone you are not just to gain favour is, in my opinion, being dishonest. Always better to be who you are, improve yourself but do not pretend.

  19. Thank you for your positive post! I appreciate the reminders of listening to others from observation vs judgment. I understand judgment as an observation with a strong attachment to an option. I am now aware of listening to others from observation and staying neutral. My daughter said to me, ‘you do you Mom’, and I take that advice when I listen to others, ‘you do you’!

  20. This is very well said, My Wife Jan always helps people as she loves it , but they are not appreciative of her help and she worries about if they like her or not, some have hurt her badly with rumors but she always keeps smiling and moves on,She has a saying that someone gave her one day, I KNOW I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO CONQUER ANYTHING LIFE THROWS MY WAY, BECAUSE I HAVE GOD ON MY SIDE! my wife has endured me having 5 by pass two stints in 06 and she had Breast cancer in 09, Chemo for 9 years, many skin cancers and helped bring me back to a normal life after a grand maul stroke in 01/2018 and a second stroke in nov 2018, we have had to sale everything to pay hospital bills because i am uninsurable, now in July i had a heart attach, but she keeps on giving , and she gives the same passionate care to others, so i understand when some one hurts those who care for you the most, Blessings!

  21. Congratulations Sam for the excellent text! How good it is to be able to have various attitudes that you mentioned, among them knowing how to listen, not criticize, not complain and not be afraid! This is fantastic!!!

  22. Great blog that spells it out for you and makes you want to take a close look in the mirror. I never actually thought about this, but your blog shows a person how he/she measures up on the scale of positive or negative and what you can do about it to make it as you would like for it to be. I love helping people without any expectation of receiving anything in return, and have to admit that I appreciate the feeling of being appreciated. I have found that Compumatrix is full of members that want to help others as well. We are a group that can bring positive change to our world.

  23. Great blog Sam,
    You very much put a plan for success in life, if people just follow the above (I would say RULES).
    I really liked “Popular people don’t whine” if you keep whining, you’re going to lose very much everyone around you, starting with your friends and ending with your own family and everyone in between. Also I liked “Popular people never criticize others” you always need to look at your mistakes before you criticize others.
    Thanks again for your blog.

  24. Thank you for the great blog, I think I’d rather just enjoy being liked. I’m just myself an open book and I don’t try to impress people, but I will post on my FB if I’m having a fun day. I enjoy being part of a big family. Not really the center of attention. I prefer to be behind the scenes seeing others happy from my actions to help them.

  25. One of my mottos is what you see is what you get. The real friends coming into our circle need to see the real you always. It really boils down to self-confidence in most situations. How someone feels within one’s own skin can make it easy or difficult when interacting with peers.

    In business interacting with members, clients, or possible distributors is a norm. At Compumatrix we can work within our own private space or reach out to the world. It is all about choices and what works for each of us.

  26. Very well said. Those are excellent attributes that can be applied in many areas of our lives. I can relate to those attributes since I used to work at an alternative school and our principal who created the program, her philosophy was that all students are basically good and our purpose is to help them make positive changes by leading by example. It was important not to criticize or judge anyone but instead be supportive and encourage good behavior by modeling it yourself.

  27. Build people up rather than pointing out their flaws. A good leader creates other leaders by letting people do their best and sometimes failing. It is indeed a part of life and not a flaw. Just a learning experience on how to do better next time. Leaders don’t focus on the mistake or the individual/group that it happened to. We focus on correcting the outcome for a more positive result. Many instances take more than one try. Build a team around you that is knowledgeable in this and supportive as well. Be a servant to those around you working on the same end result. You will build a team of leaders around your that are self dependent, but not self absorbed. Such an awesome thing. Thanks for the article.. So VERY good.

  28. Well for me during my teenage years I wanted to be liked and noticed because I was picked on due to the fact my eyes are two different colors and instead of asking me why, my classmates picked on me and called me names. However, the ugly duckling turned out to be a beautiful swan. I now know that I’m a beautiful person inside and out and if I had to choose between being liked or noticed I would rather be noticed.

    1. I understand not being liked in high school Paula. I was able to learn easily, and got my only gratification from teachers, for we had two classes: the Jocks and cheerleaders, and the Thugs more or less. I was the only male Nerd. I did not know then how to intermingle on any level, and was scared to death outside of books; thanks Paula!! You are liked and loved here!!

      1. As I got older I turned into a beautiful swan and all those who used to pick on me we not so skinny and attractive when I went to my class reunion but I knew I had to like and love myself it does not matter what others think and thank you for those kind words Sam. I do feel liked and loved here with my Compumatrix family.

  29. Great post Sam, but I never was thinking of living my life to be popular. If People like me it’s fine and if not it’s ok with me either. I have to live my life the way I feel it and being comfortable with myself. Normally I get along with most people around me, but that doesn’t mean I have to please all of them. I don’t have the desire to be noticed either, I love my privacy more than anything else. Live and let live is my motto.

  30. I also feel that taking responsibility for what we say and do, owning up to mistakes and not mincing words around it should have been something that we were taught in school. It seems that so many people do not learn this valuable skill until late in life, if ever. I find that those who take responsibility for themselves and their words and actions are people that I enjoy hearing from and being around. I pride myself on taking responsibility in these ways, and no mistake is too egregious to own up to.

  31. This blog focused on the notion of whether one wants to be noticed or like and how important it is to work towards being successful. So I think of the example of a mediocre athlete vs a star athlete. A mediocre athlete, in some ways can be more valuable to the team than a star athlete. A mediocre athlete who is more of a team player and finds ways to cheer the team on and inspire the team to play its best as a whole, can in some instances be very important to the teams success. On the other hand, a star athlete that is argumentative, and focuses only on their capabilities, playing only for him or her self, can bring down team morale and and deprive the team of a group effort for success.

  32. I try to focus more on the positive than the negative even when faced with adversity. I definitely am one to see the cup half full instead of half empty. This has helped me to carry on in many situations where some may have given up.

  33. such a great read and so much more from the replies also — this is literally a deep thought provoking process — I read this and think back my high school years and going to to 4 different high schools and having to make friends 4 times — it is quite a thought and I can smile now 40++ years later — thanks SC —

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